You should repay favours received from
others in proportion to what they give you.(禮尚往來)
There is a classic Chinese Confucian book
called the 'Book of Rites'.
It records the rules and regulations of the
ancient Zhou dynasty in China in detail. It sets out the etiquette and norms
that people of every social class should abide by.
The Zhou dynasty was the last feudal hereditary
dynasty in Chinese history and the longest-lasting. It began in 1046 BC and
ended in 256 BC.
One chapter of the Book of Rites records
personal life norms applicable to both nobles and civilians.
These norms have influenced Chinese society
for over 3,000 years.
One of the passages is as follows:
In ancient times, human life was simple, as
were the interpersonal relationships of people at that time.
When humans entered the civilised era,
however, our lives became increasingly complicated, various professions
emerged, and people began to interact more frequently. Therefore, a set of
well-recognised norms for getting along and interacting has formed in the
society we live in. In the simplest terms, this norm is that you should repay
favours in proportion to those received from others.
The essence of this straightforward code of
conduct is giving and reciprocating, which forms the basis of etiquette.
Anyone who receives favours from others but
does not reciprocate is considered impolite.
Likewise, anyone who receives rewards from
others but does not express gratitude is impolite.
If everyone in a society understands and
practises this code of conduct, then social order will naturally become stable
and balanced.
If people do not understand and practise
etiquette in their daily lives, the social order will naturally become
dangerous.
For a society, etiquette education is very
important. We must promote etiquette education and provide people with the
opportunity to learn it.
The essence of etiquette is to respect
others while restraining oneself.
In our society, some people are of
relatively low status. If they learn, understand and practise etiquette, they
become people worthy of our respect and admiration.
Whether a person is worthy of respect
depends on whether they are polite, not on their social status.
If a wealthy and powerful person learns,
understands and practises etiquette, they will appear humble and restrained.
Conversely, if a poor, low-status person
learns, understands and practises etiquette, they will appear ambitious and
fearless.
This idiom means that you should repay
favours in kind.
Dear friends, what thoughts or inspiration
have you gained from this story?
Do you remember those who have helped you
in life? Will you remember to repay them for their help?
I hope this story brings you new insights.
禮尚往來(You should repay favours received
from others in proportion to what they give you.)
中國的儒家有一本經典的書籍，這本書的名字是(禮記)。
這本書中詳細地記載了中國古代的周王朝的典章制度，在這本書中紀錄了生活在這個社會的每個階層的人應該遵守的禮儀與規範。
周王朝是中國歷史上最後一個封建世襲的王朝，周王朝也是中國歷史上延續時間最久的王朝。周王朝開始於西元前1046年、結束於西元前256年。
禮記這本書中有一章，這一中記載了一些個人的生活規範，這些生活規範適用於貴族也適用於平民。
這些生活規範已經影響了中國人超過3000年。
其中有一段記載如下。
上古時代，人類生活的非常簡單，當時的人一生中的人際關係也相對的很單純。
當人類進入文明時代之後，我們的生活變得愈來愈複雜，人類中的各種職業變多了，人與人之間的交往變得頻繁了，因此我們生活的社會中，就形成了一套大家所公認的好的相處與交往的規範，這種規範用最簡單的方式來說，就是你得到別人的多少恩惠，你就要報答別人給你的等比例的恩惠。
這個簡單的行為規範的核心就是給予與回報，這就是禮儀的最核心。
凡是受的別人恩惠而不回報的人，這就是一個沒有禮的人。
凡是你受了別人的回報而不表達感謝的人，這也是一個沒有禮的人。
如果一個社會中的每個人都可以理解並且在自己的生活中具體實踐讓自己成為一個有禮的人，那麼這個社會秩序自然就會變得安定與平衡。
如果一個社會中的每個人都無法理解並且沒有在自己的生活中具體實踐讓自己成為一個有禮的人，那麼這個社會秩序自然就會變的危險。
對於一個社會來說禮的教育是非常重要，我們要推廣禮的教育，也要讓人民都有機會學習到禮的教育。
禮的最核心的精神就在於在克制自己的同時可以做到尊重別人。
我們生活的社會中，有些地位比較低下的人，他們如果學習禮而且理解禮並且實踐禮，那麼這個人就是一個值得我們尊敬與敬佩的人。
一個人值不值得尊敬與這個人有沒有禮有關，與這個人的社會地位無關。
如果一個有錢有權的人學習禮而且理解禮並且實踐禮，那麼這個人就會表現出不驕傲與有節制的樣貌。
如果一個沒有錢而且地位低下的人學習禮而且理解禮並且實踐禮，那麼這個人就會表現出有志氣與不膽怯的樣貌。
這句成語直接翻譯的意思是你得到別人的多少恩惠，你就要報答別人給你的等比例的恩惠。
親愛的朋友，你聽完這個故事有怎樣的啟發或有怎樣的想法呢。
你是否還記得你的生命歷程中，那些幫助過你的人呢?你是否會記得回報別人對你的幫助呢?
我期待這故事能讓你產生一些新的收穫。
出處為禮記-曲禮上