You believe your actions are reasonable,
which makes you feel calm and at peace.(心安理得)
The famous book The Analects was not
written by Confucius himself.
It contains many conversations between
Confucius and his students, including one about Zai Wo.
One day, a student named Zai Wo asked
Confucius a question.
Zai Wo said:
'When a person's parents pass away, they
should stop working completely for three years. They should use this time to
remember their father and mother.'
We learn from you about etiquette, music,
archery, chariot driving, calligraphy and mathematics.'
But I've noticed that many students, just
as they're about to apply what they've learnt in their lives, lose a parent.
They then have to stop working and stay at home every day for three years to
mourn them. I think three years is too long. As these students haven't
practised the rituals for three years, they have forgotten all the etiquette
they learnt. They have also forgotten all the musical techniques they learned
because they haven't played an instrument for three years.
A year has four seasons, and the seasons
form a beautiful, complete cycle.
Spring is for sowing, summer is for
farming, autumn is for harvesting and winter is for resting. Therefore, I
believe we should shorten the period for commemorating one's parents from three
years to one.
After hearing the student's words,
Confucius remained silent for several minutes before questioning Zai Wo.
According to existing ritual norms, upon
the death of one's father or mother, one must cease all work and labour,
remaining at home each day to commemorate their parent for three years.
They would likely be extremely
grief-stricken by their father's death, and their behaviour would show a
reluctance to eat delicious food or wear beautiful clothes.
If the period of mourning for one's parents
was reduced from three years to one, it would mean that one year after their
death, one could start eating white rice and wearing silk clothing again. Do
you believe your actions are reasonable and just, and therefore do you feel at
peace?
Zai Wo thought for several seconds before
answering.
'I think I would feel that my actions are
reasonable and just, and that I would feel peaceful and at peace.'
Confucius looked at Zai Wo and replied
calmly.
'Since you don't feel guilty or uneasy
about doing this, then go ahead and do what you want.'
The other students were puzzled by
Confucius' answer and asked, 'Do you think Zai Wo's actions are right?' If you
agree with him, doesn't that mean we can each freely decide how much time to
spend commemorating our parents after they die?
If everyone does this, won't the current
etiquette system lose all authority?'
Confucius replied.
"I believe the most important aspect
of all etiquette is cultivating the capacity in each of us to interact with
others with care, empathy and compassion.
We should all cultivate the virtues of
tolerance and kindness.
I think Zai Wo's question shows that he
hasn't yet developed these qualities and that he still has room for
improvement.
The original idea behind this etiquette
rule stems from the fact that, from birth until the age of three, a person is
completely dependent on their parents. Therefore, everyone should be grateful
for the care and love their parents provided during those years of total
dependency.
After a parent passes away, I believe that
spending three years commemorating them is the minimum standard.
This idiom literally means, 'You believe
your actions are reasonable, so you feel calm and at peace.'
It is used to describe a person who
believes their actions are reasonable, which leads to a feeling of peace and
stability.
Dear friends,
What are your thoughts on this story? What
inspiration does it give you?
Do you know where some of the etiquette
rules you're familiar with come from? Are you able to tolerate those who
disagree with you?
I hope this story will provide you with
some new insights.
心安理得(You believe your actions are
reasonable, which makes you feel calm and at peace.)
著名的(孔夫子論語)這一本書不是孔子自已寫。
這本書中紀錄了很多孔子的他的學生們之間的對話內容，這本書中記載了一個有關於孔子與他的學生的故事。
有一天，有一個名字叫做(宰我)的學生對孔子提出了一個問題。
宰予說。
當一個人的父母親過世後，這個人就應該要完全的停止工作與勞動三年的時間，這個人要用這三年的時間來緬懷自己的父親與母親。
我們向你學習有關於禮儀、音樂、射箭、駕馭馬車、書法、數學這些方面的知識。
但是我發現一個現象，很多的同學在學習完這些知識之後，這些同學正想要實際地把這些知識運用在我們的生活上的時候，剛好這些同學的父親或母親就過世了，這個同學就要停止所有的工作與勞動，他每天只能待在家中緬懷自己的父親或母親三年。
我認為三年的時間太長了，這些同學因為三年都沒有實際操作這些禮儀的流程，所以這些同學忘記了他所學過的所有禮儀知識，這些同學因為三年都沒有彈奏樂器，所以這些同學已經忘了他所學過的所有的演奏技巧。
我一年有四季，四季就是一個很好的很完整的循環。
春天播種夏天耕耘秋天收成冬天休息。因此我認為我們應該要進行改革，我們應該把緬懷自己父母的時間從現在的三年改為一年。
孔子聽完這個學生的話後沉默了好幾分鐘、接著他反問宰我。
根據現有的禮儀規範，一個人在他的父親或母親過世後，這個人就要停止所有的工作與勞動，他每天只能待在家中緬懷自己的父親或母親三年。
這個人應該會為自己的父親或母親的離世感到極度悲傷，這個人會在行為上表現出不想吃美味的食物也不想要花心思去買一些很漂亮的衣服。
如果把緬懷自己的父親或母親的時間從三年改成一年，這就表示當你的父親與母親過世一年後，你就可以開始吃白米飯與穿絲綢所製作的衣服。
你會認為你的行動合情合理所以你的心中會感覺平靜安定嗎?
宰我想了幾十秒後回答。
我認為我會感覺到我的行動合情合理，而且我的心中會感覺到平靜安定。
孔子看著宰我表情平靜地回答。
既然你這樣做你的內心不會感覺到愧疚與不安，那你就照你的想法去做吧。
當時有其他的孔子的學生聽到孔子的回答後，就覺得很疑惑，他們問孔子，你認為宰我的行為是對的嗎?如果你認同他的行為，那麼不就表示我們每個人都可以隨便的調整我們在父親與母親過世後緬懷他們的時間呢?
如果我們每個人都這樣做，那麼現在的這套禮儀規範不就沒有權威了嗎?
孔子回答。
我認為所有的禮儀規範，最重要的是要培養出我們每個人都具備與他人用關懷的心、同理心和慈悲心去與他人交往。
我們每個人都應該要培養自己具備寬容與善良的品德。
我認為宰我的問題顯示出他尚未成為一個具備這種寬容與善良的品德，他還有很大的進步空間。
會出現這項禮儀規範的最起初的想法是因為一個人從出生之後到三歲之前，這個人都必須要完全的依賴自己的父母親，因此每個人應該要感謝自己的父母親在自己完全沒有行為能力的這三年的照顧與呵護。
在父親與母親過世後，這三年用來緬懷自己的父親或母親的時間我認為是最低的標準。
這句成語直接翻譯的意思是你認為你的行動合情合理所以你的心中感覺平靜安定。
這句成語被用來形容一個人覺得自已的行動合情合理所以這個人的心中感覺平靜安定。。
親愛的朋友，你聽完這個故事有什麼樣的或有什麼樣的啟發呢。
你所熟知的一些禮儀規範你知道形成的原因嗎?你嗎?你可以用寬容的心去對待任何跟你想法不同的人嗎?
我期待這個故事能讓你產生一些新的收穫。
出處為論語-陽貨-21條