When you love someone, you do many things to express your love. However, you may not realise that these actions can actually cause them great harm.(愛之適足以害之)
When you love someone, you do many things
to express your love. However, you may not realise that these actions can
actually cause them great harm.(愛之適足以害之)
During China's Eastern Han dynasty, there
was a famous historian and writer named Ban Gu. His book, 'Han Shu', chronicles
the Western Han dynasty and occupies a significant place in Chinese history.
One chapter focuses on the famous men of
the Western Han dynasty who charmed the king with their beautiful appearance
and gained his trust and favour. These men enjoyed immense power and wealth,
but their lives often ended tragically.
The most famous of these men was Dong Xian,
the lover of the king at the time, Liu Xin. During his lifetime, Dong Xian had
more wealth and status than anyone else. However, after Liu Xin's death, Dong
Xian was shunned by the public without his support. Ultimately, he committed
suicide under immense pressure.
In the final paragraph of this chapter, Ban
Gu shares his reflections on completing it. A woman uses gentleness and charm
to elicit pity from those around her. Having written this chapter, I realised
that some men also employ this method to gain favour.
After reviewing the history of the Western
Han dynasty, I found several examples of men who did this. They used this
method to gain the king's trust and favour; the most famous example is Dong
Xian.
He received more prestigious status and
wealth than other men of this type and surpassed many loyal and courageous
ministers of his time. However, Dong Xian's talents and virtues did not match
what he received. I believe that, out of love for Dong Xian, Liu Xin did many
things to demonstrate his affection. However, he failed to realise that these
actions actually caused Dong Xian great harm.
Liu Xin's excessive trust in and favouring
of Dong Xian brought great disaster to the Western Han dynasty. As a historian,
I recount the life stories of such individuals. Through these stories, I aim to
teach future kings and leaders an important lesson: they must value those who
are truly capable and morally upright, and avoid becoming close to and trusting
those who merely flatter them but lack true talent.
This idiom reveals a profound and tragic
contradiction.
Unprincipled, irrational love violates
common sense and ultimately harms the person loved. It serves as a warning
that, whether governing a country or interacting with others, caring for others
requires rational restraint; otherwise, well-intentioned actions may lead to
completely counterproductive consequences.
It literally means that, in loving someone,
you do many things to express your love, but fail to realise that these actions
cause them great harm.
It describes how excessive care for another
person can harm them.
It serves as a warning to us to exercise
due diligence in our care, as well-intentioned actions without rational
restraint can lead to consequences that contradict our original intentions.
Dear friends, what insights or thoughts
have you gained from this story?
Can love lead you to lose your mind and
morals completely? Have you ever done something out of love that ultimately
hurt the person you loved?
I hope this story will provide you with
some new insights.
愛之適足以害之(When you love someone, you do many
things to express your love. However, you may not realise that these actions
can actually cause them great harm.)
中國的東漢王朝有一個很著名的史學家與文學家﹐他的名字叫做班固，他所寫的(漢書)是針對西漢王朝所寫的歷史書，這本歷史書在中國歷史上有著很重要的地位。
他所寫的這本書中有一章的內容是針對西漢王朝中那些著名的透過漂亮的外貌來魅惑國王的方式而得到國王的信任與寵愛的男子，這些男子生前擁有過極大的權力與財富，但這些男子的人生結局通常很悲慘。
這些男子中最著名的一個人的名字叫做董賢，董賢是國王的愛人，當時的國王的名字是劉欣。董賢在生前擁有著超過當時代所有人的金錢與地位，但是在劉欣死後，董賢就因為失去靠山而遭到眾人唾棄，董賢最後在巨大的壓力下選擇自殺身亡。
班固在這一章的最後一段寫下他寫完這一章的感想與體悟。
女人用溫柔與嫵媚去讓周圍的人對她產生憐惜的心，寫完這一章後我才發現有些男人也會用這種方式去讓自己得到寵愛。
我整理了西漢王朝的歷史之後，我發現有好幾個這種類型的男人。這些男人們用這種方式去得到國王的信任與寵愛，其中最著名的就是董賢了。
董賢所得到的尊貴地位與錢財超過其他幾位這類型的男人，也超過了當代的很多忠誠且勇敢的大臣。董賢的才能與德行與他所得到的並不相匹配，我認為劉欣因為愛董賢所以劉欣做了很多事情來表現自己對董賢的愛，但劉欣沒有發現自己做的這些事情實際上反而對董賢造成了巨大的傷害。
劉欣對於董賢的過度信任與寵愛造成了西漢王朝極大的災禍，我身為一個歷史學家，所以我寫下這些人的人生故事。我藉由這些故事想要提供後代的國王或是一些後代的領導者一個很重要的道理，這個道理就是你必須重視那些真正有能力與道德水平高尚的人，你不應該親近並信任那些只會諂媚你但實際上沒有真實的才能的人。
這句成語揭示了一種深刻的悲劇性矛盾。
不理智、無原則的愛，違背了常理和準則，最終會害了所愛之人。這句成語被用來警示我們，無論是治國還是為人處世，關愛都需要理性的節制，否則良好的初衷可能會導致完全相反的結果。
這句成語直接翻譯的意思是你因為愛這個人所以你做了很多事情來表現你的愛，但你沒有發現自己做的這些事情實際上反而對這個人造成了巨大的傷害。
這句成語被用來形容一個人對另外一個人的指過度愛護可能反而會造成隊另外一個人的危害。
這句成語被用來警示我們需把握關愛的尺度，因為一件善意的行為若缺乏理性的節制，其結果可能會背離我們的初衷。
親愛的朋友，你聽完這個故事有怎樣的啟發或有怎樣的想法呢。
你會因為愛一個人所以完全失去理智與道德嗎?你曾經經歷過這種因為愛一個人做了一些事，但結果導致這個被你愛的人受到傷害的情況呢?
我期待這故事能讓你產生一些新的收穫。
出處為漢書-佞幸傳27條