He only uses his own ideas when doing
things.(自作自用)
During the late Ming dynasty in China,
there was a famous writer named Feng Menglong who wrote a collection of short
stories.
One of these stories is about a loyal old
servant named Aji. The story is set in the mid-Ming Dynasty, a peaceful era of
national strength.
Aji lived in a small village in Zhejiang
Province and was over fifty years old.
He was a very dutiful son, but his parents
had died when he was young.
In Aji's village lived a middle-class
family named Xu. The head of the Xu family lent Aji a large sum of money to
help with his parents' funeral expenses.
Aji was very grateful to him, so he
volunteered to become a lifelong servant in the Xu. He got up early and went to
bed late every day, working hard to help the Xu family cultivate their land.
The Xu patriarch later had three sons,
named from eldest to youngest: Xu Yan, Xu Zhao and Xu Zhe. Each of these sons
married and had children.
Xu Yan and Xu Zhao each had a son with
their wives, while Xu Zhe and his wife had two sons and three daughters.
(Aji) had a low social status and
occupation, so he didn't marry until he was almost forty. He and his wife had a
son within a year of their marriage, which made him very happy. Although he
wasn't wealthy, he was grateful and felt that his life was fulfilling and
happy.
When Aji was about 50 years old, the
patriarch of the Xu family handed over all decision-making power, both major
and minor, to his eldest son due to his advanced age.
Xu Yan's personality was the complete
opposite of his father's. He was greedy and calculating, acting only according
to his own ideas and disliking criticism.
A-Ji was an upright man, more than twenty
years older than Xu Yan. When he saw Xu Yan make irrational or ill-considered
decisions, he offered his honest advice.
Xu Yan was very unhappy when he heard
A-Ji's honest words. He would loudly reprimand A-Ji and even verbally abuse
him.
Seeing her husband being insulted for
speaking his mind, A-Ji's wife felt sorry for him. She said to him, 'Everyone
has a different personality. Although Xu Yan is young, he is already the head
of the Xu family. Since he doesn't like your honesty, you should keep quiet and
stop saying things that are righteous but unpleasant to hear.'
A-Ji listened to his wife's advice. From
that day on, he quietly helped Xu Yan's three brothers cultivate the land and
never offered him any more advice.
The idiom literally translates as "he
only uses his own ideas when doing things".
It is used to describe someone who is very
stubborn and unwilling to accept the opinions of others.
Dear friend, what insights or thoughts did
you gain from this story?
Have you ever encountered someone who
doesn't listen to the opinions of others? Would you accept advice from your wife
or someone very close to you?
I hope this story gives You gain some new
insights.
自作自用(He only uses his own ideas when doing
things.)
中國的明王朝末年，有一個著名的文學家，他的名字叫做(馮夢龍)，他寫過一本短篇小說集。
他的這本小說集中有一個有關於一個忠誠的老僕人的故事，這個老僕人的名字叫做(阿寄)，馮夢龍說的這個故事發生在明王朝的中葉，那是一個國力強盛的和平時代。
(阿寄)住在浙江省的一個小村莊內，他的年紀已經50幾歲了。
(阿寄)是一個很孝順的人，他的父母親在他很年輕的時候就過世了。
(阿寄)住的村莊中有一戶性徐的中等收入的家庭，徐家的男主人借了(阿寄)很多錢，這個徐家的男主人協助(阿寄)舉辦他的父母親喪禮。
(阿寄)很感謝這個徐家的男主人，所以他自願到徐家中擔任一個終身雇傭的僕人，他每天都早起然後很晚睡，他很勤勞地幫忙徐家耕作農地。
徐家的這個男主人後來生了三個男孩，這三個男孩的名字從大到小分別是(徐言)、(徐召)和(徐哲)。這三個男孩長大後各自娶妻生子。
徐言與徐召與他們各自的妻子各生了一個兒子，徐哲與他的妻子生了兩個兒子三個女兒。
(阿寄)因為工作與身分地位很低，所以他到了快40歲才結婚，他與他的妻子在婚後的一年內就生了一個兒子，他很開心，他雖然經濟上並不富裕，但是他是一個懂得感恩的人，他感覺到生活很踏實很幸福。
在(阿寄)大概50歲的時候，徐家的男主人因為年紀老邁所以就把家中所有的大事與小事的決定權通通交給他的長子。
徐言跟他的父親的個性完全相反，他是一個很貪心的人，他很愛計較，他做事情的時候只會採用他自己的想法，他不喜歡聽到別人批評他。
(阿寄)的個性很正直，他的年紀比徐言大20幾歲，當他看到徐言作的一些不理智或者不周到的決定時，他就會像徐言提出他的諍言。
徐言聽到(阿寄)說的這些諍言的時候，他就會很不開心，他對大聲地斥責(阿寄)，他甚至還會辱罵(阿寄)。
(阿寄)的妻子看到(阿寄)因為說了這些正直的話所以被辱罵，她很心疼自己的丈夫，她就對(阿寄)說。
每個人的個性不同，(徐言)的年紀雖然很輕，但是她的身分已經是徐家的男主人了，既然他不喜歡你說那些正直的話，那麼你就應該收緊自己的嘴巴不要再說那些正值但是不動聽的話了。
(阿寄)聽取他的妻子的建議，他從那天起默默地協助徐家三個兄弟耕作農地，他再也沒有對徐言提出任何的意見。
這句成語直接翻譯的意思是他做事情的時候只會採用他自己的想法。
這句成語被用來形容一個人很固執，這個人不肯採納別人的意見
親愛的朋友，你聽完這個故事有怎樣的啟發或有怎樣的想法呢。
你有遇過這種不聽從別人的意見的人嗎?你的妻子或是與你非常親近的人勸戒你，你會接受這些自己親近的人的意見嗎?
我期待這故事能讓你產生一些新的收穫。
出處為馮夢龍-醒世恆言-卷35-徐老僕義憤成家
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