Men marry wives and women marry husbands.(婚男嫁女)
During the late Ming dynasty in China,
there was a famous writer named Feng Menglong who compiled a collection of
short stories.
One of these stories is about a loyal old
servant named Aji. The story is set in the mid-Ming Dynasty, a peaceful era of
national strength.
Aji lived in a small village in Zhejiang
Province and was over fifty years old.
He was a very dutiful son, but his parents
had died when he was young.
In Aji's village lived a middle-class
family named Xu. The head of the Xu family lent Aji a large sum of money to
help with his parents' funeral expenses.
Aji was very grateful to him, so he
volunteered to become a lifelong servant in the Xu household. He rose early and
went to bed late every day, diligently helping the Xu family to cultivate their
land. The Xu patriarch later had three sons, named from eldest to youngest: Xu
Yan, Xu Zhao and Xu Zhe. Each of the three sons married and had children.
Xu Yan and Xu Zhao each had a son with
their wives, while Xu Zhe and his wife had two sons and three daughters.
When Xu Zhe was around 50 years old, the
patriarch passed away and Xu Yan inherited all decision-making power within the
family.
The Xu family lived peacefully for several
years. One day, however, the youngest brother, Xu Zhe, suddenly contracted
typhoid fever and died after only seven days. His wife and children were deeply
saddened by this sudden loss. With the help of his two older brothers, she
handled all the arrangements for his funeral.
About two months after the funeral, Xu Yan
privately said to Xu Zhao:
'Before he died, our father told us three
brothers his last words.
After his death, our father said that he
hoped the three of us brothers would continue living here together, sharing our
family property and working together to prosper the family business.
Our younger brother has left. His three
daughters and two sons are still very young, but they will grow up in a few
years. When they do, the boys will get married and the girls will marry. This
means that we will have to help them to pay for five weddings.
You and I each have only one son. When they
grow up, they will also get married, and each son will have his own wedding. I
think that, under our current shared property arrangement, we will both suffer
a great loss.
Xu Zhao nodded in agreement after hearing
Xu Yan's words.
Xu Yan paused for a moment and continued,
'Furthermore, we should consider something
else. Since our brother died, our workload on the farm has increased significantly,
yet we still have to divide our annual harvest equally into three parts. I
think this is unfair to us both.
Xu Zhao immediately agreed with Xu Yan,
saying that he completely supported his point of view.
Seeing that his younger brother agreed with
him, Xu Yan offered his suggestion:
'I think our three families should live
independently. We should divide our current shared property equally into three
parts, with each family taking one share.
We should just do our best to manage our
own families. Our younger brother's family is a heavy burden, and we should get
rid of it as soon as possible.'
This idiom translates as "A man should
marry a wife, and a woman should marry a husband".
It is used to describe someone who gets
married and starts their own family after reaching adulthood.
Dear friend, what inspiration or thoughts did you gain from this story?
Have you ever helped to support your
family? If you were Xu Zhao or Xu Yan, would you try to get rid of your
deceased younger brother's family for your own benefit?
I
hope this story gives you some new insights.
婚男嫁女(Men marry wives and women marry
husbands.)
中國的明王朝末年，有一個著名的文學家，他的名字叫做(馮夢龍)，他寫過一本短篇小說集。
他的這本小說集中有一個有關於一個忠誠的老僕人的故事，這個老僕人的名字叫做(阿寄)，馮夢龍說的這個故事發生在明王朝的中葉，那是一個國力強盛的和平時代。
(阿寄)住在浙江省的一個小村莊內，他的年紀已經50幾歲了。
(阿寄)是一個很孝順的人，他的父母親在他很年輕的時候就過世了。
(阿寄)住的村莊中有一戶姓徐的中等收入的家庭，徐家的男主人借了(阿寄)很多錢，這個徐家的男主人協助(阿寄)舉辦他的父母親喪禮。
(阿寄)很感謝這個徐家的男主人，所以他自願到徐家中擔任一個終身雇傭的僕人，他每天都早起然後很晚睡，他很勤勞地幫忙徐家耕作農地。
徐家的這個男主人後來生了三個男孩，這三個男孩的名字從大到小分別是(徐言)、(徐召)和(徐哲)。這三個男孩長大後各自娶妻生子。
徐言與徐召與他們各自的妻子各生了一個兒子，徐哲與他的妻子生了兩個兒子三個女兒。
在(阿寄)大概50歲的時候，徐家的男主人逝世，徐家中所有的大事與小事的決定權通通由長子徐言繼承。
徐家平靜的日子過了幾年，有一天，三兄弟中的老么徐哲忽然患上了傷寒，徐哲生病後經過短短七天就病逝了。徐哲的妻子與孩子們面對這個突然的打擊非常的悲傷，在徐哲的兩個哥哥協助下，徐哲的妻子辦理徐哲的喪事相關的所有事情。
喪禮結束大約兩個月的某一天，徐言私底下對徐召說。
我們的父親臨死之前，他曾經對我們三兄弟說過他的遺言。
我們的父親說在他死了之後，他希望我們三個兄弟不要分開還是住在這裡，我們家中的財產共有，一起興旺我們家族。
我們的弟弟死了，他的三個女兒與兩個兒子雖然現在年紀還很小，但是過幾年後他們就會長大，他們長大後男的要娶妻子、女的要嫁丈夫。這樣我們就要協助他們辦五場婚禮與負擔五場婚禮的龐大開銷。
我跟你都各只有一個兒子，我們兩個人的兒子長大後也會結婚，我們的兒子結婚時各自會辦一場婚禮，我認為在我們現在這種財產共有的情況下，我們兩個到時候會遭受到很大的損失。
徐召聽完徐言的這段話點頭表示同意。
徐言停頓了一下後繼續說。
另外我們還應該考慮到一件事情，我們弟弟死掉之後，我們倆的人每天耕種的工作量多出了很多，但是我們每年的收成還要平分成三分，我認為這樣對我們兩個而言太不公平了。
徐召聽完徐言的這段話直接附和說他非常認同徐言的觀點。
許言看到自己的弟弟也同意自己的觀點，他提出了他的建議，他說。
我認為，我們應該我們三個家庭的生活應該各自獨立，我們應該把我們現在共有的財產平分成為三等份然後每個家庭各自拿一份。
我們兩個人只要盡力管理好自己的家庭就好，三弟的家庭是一個非常沉重的負擔，我們應趁早擺脫這個累贅。
這句成語直接翻譯的意思是男的要娶妻子、女的要嫁丈夫。
這句成語被用來形容一個人成年後結婚並成立自己的家庭。
親愛的朋友，你聽完這個故事有怎樣的啟發或有怎樣的想法呢。
你是否有幫忙負擔你的家人的生活呢?你如果是徐召或徐言，你會為了自已的利益去擺脫他們死去的弟弟的家庭嗎?
我期待這故事能讓你產生一些新的收穫。
出處為馮夢龍-醒世恆言-卷35-徐老僕義憤成家
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